I feel like I'm stuck in the deep end treading water, waiting to be rescued or to make my way to the edge, but each time I just make it to the edge and about to get out, I'm swept back in again.
Sometimes I fall below the water and am afraid I'm not going to surface, but I do. I'm barely able to keep my head above water. I do, but sometimes I just want to succumb. To just stop treading. Just stop trying.
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired of working SO hard for not much of anything.
It seems like the harder I work, I'm about at the same place I'd be otherwise. I don't think it's really true. But I keep on working and being creative, but how creative can I be?
Again, ex's child care payments came in under the expected (and way under the court-ordered amount). No matter who I talk to, things don't change.
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